Abu Sufyan ibn al-Harith

ProfileAbu Sufyan ibn al-Harith

Abu Sufyan (may Allah be pleased with him) was the son of al-Harith, the eldest son of Abd al-Muttalib, so he was the Prophet's ﷺ paternal first cousin, from the Banu Hashim. He is not to be confused with Abu Sufyan ibn Harb. According to the early biographies, he was about the same age as the Prophet ﷺ, and was nursed, like him, by Halimah, so that they were foster brothers as well as cousins. He married Jumanah, the daughter of Abu Talib. According to the early biographies, he looked more like the Prophet ﷺ than almost anyone, so that people seeing him on trading journeys in Syria said that this must be his cousin. They grew up as the closest of friends, gave each other gifts from their journeys, and were at each other's weddings. He was eloquent, of good manners, and a poet.

According to the early biographies, the Prophet ﷺ expected him to be among the first to believe, and when the Prophet ﷺ called the Banu Hashim to Islam, and Abu Sufyan turned against him, it hurt him deeply. He became the Quraysh's poet against the Prophet ﷺ for about twenty years, and did not miss a battle against him. According to the early biographies, the Prophet ﷺ answered his verses through Hassan ibn Thabit, but told Hassan to spare his own lineage, since he was related to those he satirised, and Hassan said that he would draw him out from among them like a hair drawn from dough (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim). According to the early biographies, they never spoke face to face in those years. All his brothers and his sister became Muslims before him, and his wife Jumanah, who did not understand his enmity, reproached him when the Prophet ﷺ came to Makkah in the year of the conquest, saying that the Arabs and others were following Muhammad and he was the one holding out.

According to the early biographies, he and his son Ja'far went to meet the Prophet ﷺ, he wrapped his face and went on foot, out of shame, not knowing if he would be killed. When he uncovered his face, the Prophet ﷺ turned his head away from him, and each time he tried to meet his eyes, he turned away again. Abu Bakr and Umar told him to go, and a young man of the Ansar said harsh words to him. He went to his uncle al-Abbas, who spoke to the Prophet ﷺ for him and for another cousin, Abdullah ibn Abi Umayyah. According to the early biographies, the Prophet ﷺ said that Abu Sufyan had attacked his honour, and the other cousin had spoken against him when he wept over Abu Talib, and that they would be forgiven, but he would not act as if nothing had happened. Al-Abbas and Ali told him to wait, and that the Prophet ﷺ would forgive him. Abu Sufyan said that if the Prophet ﷺ did not soften, he would take his son and walk into the desert until he died. The next day the women of Quraysh came to the Prophet ﷺ, and he forgave them, and Abu Sufyan's wife was among them. Then Abu Sufyan came and said the testimony, and the Prophet ﷺ said that there was no blame on him, and told him to go and teach his cousin the prayer and the washing, and he had still not smiled at him. According to the early biographies, Abu Sufyan said that he longed for the Prophet's ﷺ smile, and watched for it every day, and that he softened slowly.

He proved himself at Hunayn. Al-Abbas told that he and Abu Sufyan ibn al-Harith kept close to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and did not leave him, when the Muslims fled, and that the Prophet ﷺ spurred his white mule towards the unbelievers, and al-Abbas held its bridle, and Abu Sufyan held the stirrup (Sahih Muslim). Al-Bara told that when the Muslims were struck by the archers, the Prophet ﷺ got down from his mule and called out that he was the Prophet, no lie, the son of Abd al-Muttalib, and Abu Sufyan ibn al-Harith was leading the mule (Sahih Muslim). According to the early biographies, the Prophet ﷺ, when he did not know who was fighting at his side, asked who this was, and was told that it was his brother Abu Sufyan, and said that he hoped that Allah had given him to him in place of Hamzah. According to the early biographies, he embraced him then, and asked Allah to forgive him, and Abu Sufyan received his love.

According to the early biographies, he came to live near the Prophet ﷺ in Madinah, and gave himself to the mosque and to the Quran. People saw a man who looked like the Prophet ﷺ come to the mosque with his head down and his eyes full of tears, praying a long time, and speaking to no one. Aishah asked the Prophet ﷺ who he was, and the Prophet ﷺ said that he was his cousin, always the first into the mosque and the last out. He wrote verses mourning the Prophet ﷺ when he died. According to the early biographies, he went on Hajj in the caliphate of Umar, and a barber cut a growth on his head, which became infected, and he died of it. When he felt death approaching, he dug his own grave at al-Baqi, close to where the Prophet's ﷺ family were buried, and said that he did not wish to live after the Prophet ﷺ and his brother. When his family wept, he told them not to, for he had not sinned since he became a Muslim.

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