Umm Haram bint Milhan

ProfileUmm Haram bint Milhan

Umm Haram (may Allah be pleased with her) was of the Banu Najjar of the Khazraj in Madinah, the sister of Umm Sulaym and so the aunt of Anas ibn Malik (Sahih Muslim). According to the early biographies, the whole family on her mother's side became Muslim. Her younger brother Haram ibn Milhan was one of them (Sahih al-Bukhari). According to the early biographies, she was first married to Amr ibn Qays, and with him and their son Qays she accepted Islam, and both men fought at Badr.

According to the early biographies, she lost her husband and her son at Uhud. She went out to the battlefield with the other women to ask after her family. When a man told her that her husband was among the martyrs, she said the words of return to Allah, and walked on to ask after her son, and when she was told he was dead too she said them again and stayed patient, though she had a small son at home. This was noticed by the other women. According to the early biographies, four months after Uhud her brother Haram was killed at Bi'r Ma'unah, where seventy men sent to teach people the Quran were betrayed. As he was stabbed he said that he had succeeded, by the Lord of the Ka'bah (Sahih al-Bukhari). According to the early biographies, she married Ubadah ibn as-Samit after that, and Ubadah raised her young son Abdullah as if he were his own.

The Prophet ﷺ used to visit her when he went to Quba, and she would feed him (Sahih al-Bukhari). He said that he did not enter any house in Madinah except that of Umm Sulaym, apart from his wives, out of compassion for her, because her brother had been killed with him (Sahih al-Bukhari). He once led Anas, his mother and his aunt Umm Haram in voluntary prayer in their house and prayed for the family (Sahih Muslim). Umm Haram was related to him by nursing or by family, so he could rest there, and the narrators were unsure which it was (Sahih Muslim).

On one visit she fed him, sat behind him and went through his hair, and he fell asleep, and then woke up smiling. She asked what had made him smile. He said that some of his followers had been shown to him fighting in the way of Allah on this sea, like kings on their thrones. She asked him to pray that Allah make her one of them, and he did. He slept again and woke up smiling again with the same dream, and she asked again, and he told her that she was among the first of them (Sahih al-Bukhari; Sahih Muslim). She also told that the Prophet ﷺ said that the first of his followers to go to sea would be given Paradise, and when she asked if she would be among them he said she was, but when she asked about the army that would be the first to attack the city of Caesar, he said no (Sahih al-Bukhari). She narrated that he said that whoever is seasick on a stormy sea has the reward of a martyr, and whoever drowns has the reward of two martyrs (Sunan Abi Dawud, graded hasan).

Many years later, she went with her husband Ubadah on the first naval expedition of the Muslims, which Mu'awiyah led (Sahih al-Bukhari). After she came ashore, a riding animal was brought to her, and it threw her, and she died (Sahih al-Bukhari; Sahih Muslim). According to the early biographies, she was buried on the island of Cyprus, and she is remembered as the martyr of the sea. A mosque was built next to her grave centuries later, and people still visit it.

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