Marriage to Khadijah

Part oneKhadijah, a woman of business

Khadijah bint Khuwaylid (may Allah be pleased with her) was one of the most respected women in Makkah. She belonged to the Banu Asad, a clan of the Quraysh, and she had been married and widowed before. People called her at-Tahirah, the pure one. She was also a merchant with great wealth. Her cousin Waraqah ibn Nawfal had turned away from the idols and studied the earlier scriptures.

A woman of the Quraysh did not usually travel with caravans, so Khadijah hired men to trade for her. She sent them off with her goods, and they either received a share of the profit or were paid a fee. Not every one of them was honest, and she was always on the lookout for someone she could rely on completely.

She had heard of al-Amin. She asked the young Muhammad ﷺ to take her goods to Ash-Sham and sell them, offering him a better rate than she gave others, and he agreed. Her servant Maysarah went with him to help. The goods sold well, and he came back with a return larger than any she had received before.

On the road, Maysarah had watched him closely. He saw how fairly the young man dealt with everyone, rich or poor, and how kindly he treated those travelling with him. When they got home, Maysarah told Khadijah everything he had seen.

Part twoThe marriage

Khadijah had already turned down offers from several leading men of Makkah. Now she found herself drawn to this quiet, honest man. She spoke to a friend, Nafisah bint Munyah, who went to ask the Prophet ﷺ why he had not yet married. He answered that he did not have the means to marry. Nafisah asked if he would consider a woman of good family, beauty and wealth, and then named Khadijah.

He took the matter to his uncles. Abu Talib and other family members went to the house of Khadijah's family to ask for her hand. Abu Talib spoke for the family at the wedding and praised his nephew's character. Her uncle, Amr ibn Asad, agreed to the marriage. The Prophet ﷺ was about twenty-five. Khadijah was older, and the figure most often given for her age is forty, though accounts differ.

Their home in Makkah was a happy and settled one. They had six children. There were two sons, Qasim and Abdullah, who both died young, and four daughters, Zaynab, Ruqayyah, Umm Kulthum and Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with them). From his first son he took the name Abu al-Qasim, the father of Qasim. A young man named Zayd ibn Harithah (may Allah be pleased with him), who had been brought to Makkah as a slave, joined the household, and the Prophet ﷺ freed him and treated him with great affection. In a year of famine, when Abu Talib struggled to feed his many children, the Prophet ﷺ took in Abu Talib's young son Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) and raised him in his own home.

Khadijah was more than a wife of means. She understood him and trusted him. She placed her wealth at his service after the marriage, and he took no other wife while she lived. As the years passed, he began to spend nights alone in the hills around Makkah, thinking about the world he lived in, and she never stood in his way. Within fifteen years she would be the first person to believe in him, on the night he came home from the Cave of Hira shaken, and she would stand by him for as long as she lived.

Even after her death, the Prophet ﷺ spoke of her often and with love. Years later, his wife Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said that she never felt as jealous of any other wife as she did of Khadijah, because he kept mentioning her.

From the hadith

Narrated `Aisha:

I did not feel jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet (ﷺ) as much as I did of Khadija though I did not see her, but the Prophet (ﷺ) used to mention her very often, and when ever he slaughtered a sheep, he would cut its parts and send them to the women friends of Khadija. When I sometimes said to him, "(You treat Khadija in such a way) as if there is no woman on earth except Khadija," he would say, "Khadija was such-and-such, and from her I had children."

She understood him and trusted him.

More on How to Muslim

• guide.howtomuslim.orgWives of the Prophet ﷺEach marriage in order, and why it happened.

WatchLectures for this chapter

Lecture Towards EternityO Messenger, Ep. 1: Life of Prophet Muhammad (opens on YouTube)

Lecture Islamic GuidanceKhadijah And Muhammad Get Married (Seerah of Muhammad, part 18) (opens on YouTube)

The mapWhere it happened

• Makkah
• the caravan road north
• Ash-Sham

This map is a simple sketch to help you picture where events took place. Positions, distances and borders are approximate, so please use it for reference only, not as an accurate map.

SourcesSources for this chapter